Do you have your own definition of success?
Know your numbers, know your self, be here now
Success looks different to different people, but you’d be forgiven for thinking it involves millionaires and mansions. We become so busy chasing someone else’s idea of a dream life that we don’t stop to think if it genuinely equates with our own idea of success.
We might already be living the dream but don’t stop for long enough to realise and appreciate it.
I’m not fancy and have few material desires. I already feel quite successful knowing that I live in one of the wealthiest countries in the world with a good social security system — I live a life many others would and do die for. I recognise I’m privileged merely to be able to consider the long-term aims of this article.
What is your idea of a ‘rich’ life?
I’m indebted to Ramit Sethi in turning around my money mentality and encouraging me to own my mindset and my financial forecast. After ending up in debt due to financial abuse, discovering Sethi’s personal finance information was the impetus to get back on my feet.
He makes it clear that feeling ‘rich’ is something you come to on your own terms. It’s not all about money, although money is a very useful tool.
It’s easy to fall prey to the idea of being rich for the sake of being rich, but it seems to me that any extra money accrued would just entrench whatever habits you already have.
If you spend your spare pennies on helping the homeless, you will do more of that. If you spend your spare pennies on uppers or downers, you will do more of that. Which of these is the ‘rich’ mindset?
What makes you rich is not your money but your mind and your motives.
Monetary wealth will buy you more options of what to do with the mindset you already have. Get your mind and intentions in order first, then when any money comes your way you won’t just squander it.
Do you really need to be a millionaire?
Money might not buy happiness, but it surely thwarts the circumstances that make consistent contentment more difficult to attain. Not having to worry about living hand-to-mouth frees us up to focus on issues beyond our basic survival.
Then we can figure out what we really need to be self-actualised people. Quite often, it is a lot less than what modern consumerist culture tries to sell us. Quite often, it is the pursuit of less that makes us feel truly wealthy, giving us the space to do what we really love.
Yet we must contextualise ourselves where we find ourselves: I might have dreams of a back-to-nature existence but in reality I know I’m privileged to live in a time and place of material plenty. Whatever we think about contemporary inequalities and the harms of extractive capitalism, we must be careful not to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
From this place of plenty I realised there is absolutely no need to aspire to be a millionaire. Taking more than we need is not to be lauded. However, it may be sensible to consider our FIRE figure (financial independence / retire early).
For simplicity’s sake, my figure is based on my current modest living costs and doesn’t factor in inflation or tax.
Although I’ve grown to detest the unconscious privilege and consumerist overlay of The Secret / the Law of Attraction, there is a helpful comment made by Jack Kornfield. He notes that to make $1m he needs to sell a million copies of a book at just $1 profit. You can switch these numbers to whatever works for you alongside your magic FIRE number.
Personally, I’ve deduced that to have enough money to invest and pay for another 40 years of life at my current standard of living, I would require a lump sum of £500k. This is equivalent to £12.5k per annum, hopefully with enough of a return on investment to fund any years I could potentially live beyond another 4 decades. Indeed, my pension provider is predicting that I have another 54 years based on my health markers (I’m currently 39)!
If I break my figure down into the realm of £2.50 profit per piece, that’s 200,000 items I would need to ship.
I’m gearing up to that plan. My problem lies in perfectionism. To think of 200,000 people buying a book I’ve authored, I would have to be confident in its value and quality.
I’m aware that perfectionism could hold me back forever. I’m also aware of my own standards — and those I’d expect from others. If I author just one book that funds the rest of my life and acts as my magnum opus, let it be a good one!
What are your values?
I often contemplate the risk of the near-term collapse of the financial system and civilisation as we know it. Our idea of ‘success’ and preparedness would drastically change in the event of that.
This is not to live in fear of dystopia but to help us consider what is truly important. It helps us to uncover what our core values really are, irrespective of our current circumstances and the monetary system.
I spent years unquestionably spouting the ethics of love, peace, and harmony. I still spout those ideals, but there is a caveat. Our route to such ideals may actually be underpinned by different values.
I realised that I’m most happy (and therefore most loving, peaceful, and harmonious) when I’m being creative and generous.
My deepest values were not love, peace, and harmony. They are just the consequences of embodying my core values of creativity and generosity.
As long as I nurture the values of creativity and generosity, all other values fall into line.
Your values may be inverse to mine or entirely different, but the result of practicing them will be your ‘successful’ life.
By being true to ourselves we become beacons of hope in the world, whether or not we are campaigning for world peace.
Do you balance plans with presence?
As well as playing the long game, make sure you have mini markers of success. There is no point in living for tomorrow when we can be grateful for the small successes we have each and every day.
No future success is worth missing my young children’s smiles right now.
*glancing up from my typing to smile at their smiles right now*
Having 3-month goals has been touted as a means of making short-term progress on long-term visions, and I find this works well whether you are working to the economic calendar or the seasonal calendar. This is a good interim timeframe between living for the moment and living for an unknown future.
One of my current goals to measure short-term success is to have homegrown vegetables to harvest on my allotment by the end of the summer. For me, success is not about outsourcing but about self-sufficiency. It is about making sure my children inherit wisdom, not just money.
If you can get to a point where your lifestyle is fuelled by the fruits of your investments — be they monetary or natural — you can relax your grip on how successful other ventures are.
You can focus on doing things out of love rather than doing things out of striving.
If I save the seeds of this year’s harvest, next year’s is almost guaranteed (again, depending on the economic or natural climate). You can enjoy today despite your side-glance on tomorrow.
To know there will be food on the plate today, that is a human’s most simple measure of daily success and a time-honoured port of gratitude. You more than likely have a higher bar, and that’s why it’s important to know your own definition of success.
You cannot measure your gains against another person’s definition. You cannot claim ‘success’ unless it genuinely feels successful to you.
To recap, ask yourself the questions:
- What is your idea of a ‘rich’ life?
- Do you really need to be a millionaire?
- What are your values?
- Do you balance plans with presence?
My life and finances may look distinctly ‘unsuccessful’ to someone else, but what matters is that it feels successful to me.
By taking an honest look at your mindset, numbers, values, and plans, you might be surprised at how much success you have already achieved — and how achievable any outstanding goals really are.
